@brandynwiththey: My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it.
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@Smug_Lemur: God only gives you what you can handle. Really? Because I'm pretty sure I could handle way more money.
@audipenny: Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it's like "well I better just go with it" and I begin sprinting at them
@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test