@brandynwiththey: My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it.
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@dadtellsjokes: Dad:I don't trust those trees..... Son: Why? What do you mean? Dad: They seem kind of shady
@Shock_Monster: I am a master ninja with my ability to hide silently when someone rings my doorbell.
@internetluke: [Seahawks locker room] Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score! Wilson: well put! Well put!
@WhatTheFFacts: On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came.