@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!
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@causticbob: It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.
@WilliamAder: Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
@aholealex: "Damn girl are you a dam, girl? Cuz your water just broke haha" yes we will go to the hospital in a minute honey, jesus christ im tweeting
@Cheese_Pile: [First day of class at law school] *raises hand* Hi, yes. When do we get our white, curly wigs?