@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!
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@themiltron: FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren’t wish— M: Second book’s a TV.
@mofrorock: A prickle of porcupines A murder of crows A flamboyance of flamingos A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts A shrewdness of apes A parla
@lazerdoov: Gramma gramma gramma gramma gramma chameleon she's old and cold she's old and coooooold
@celestinelea90: *takes earrings out* *takes bracelet off* *slips out of shoes* *tears off jeans, shirt, bra* *shaves head* Ok Doc you can weigh me now