@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
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@juanadog: *kicks door down* *realizes its the wrong house* *leaves* *comes back with tool bag* *fixes door* *apologizes*
@Sean_Burgundy_: You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she organizes body parts in her freezer
@MrYeager2: Wife: hey take me out tonight. Me: can it wait till tomorrow? Wife: why? Me: because tonight's not garbage night, tomorrow is
@krisv_723: I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.