@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
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@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
@MikeBigby: u guys do know that when u say "frig" we ALL know what you mean? At this point u might as well just say "frog pig" its not even that bad
@fro_vo: Me: can I wish for more wishes Genie: no Me: i wish for $20 then Genie: granted Me: *slides $20 across table* how about those wishes now
@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.