@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NowAPisces: Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled "supplies!"
@sofarrsogud: I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley. After months of therapy I'm finally battling my Damons.
@Sassafrantz: "911, what's your emergency?" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past me while I was folding my period underwear.