@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.
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@AGreaterMonster: A firm handshake and a kiss on the neck is how I like to close my job interviews. Nailed it!
@WillSaysStuff: welcome back to guitar 101 everybody. what now, steve? uh, hey. are you gonna make the 'snapped my g-string' joke? no *steve leaves*
@AnniemuMary: My husband got new earbuds. Think I'll skip the middle man and put them straight in the washing machine.
@Allison_Tolman: Therapist: Participate in a hobby your partner enjoys. Me: Like sitting on paper bags? Therapist: No, not your cat. A human partner. Me: Oh.