@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.
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@_SingleBabyMama: Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says "open wide" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*