@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.
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@GingerGander: A new study says vegetarians die younger than smokers, on average, so don't smoke your vegetables...
@tuckerflodman: Hey girl, on a scale of 'Neo's mind in the beginning of The Matrix' and 'Neo's mind at the end', how free are you tonight?
@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.