@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.
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@Dutch_50: Hey, I'm human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?
@CruisinSoozan: Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites.
@heymonroe: Fun Prank: 1.) Buy 35 coats 2.) Goto the movie theatre 3.) Put a coat on every chair in the row 4.) Relax
@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...