@CaptainJerkwad: My dentist not only specializes in treating cavities, but he also sells gasoline for your car. Basically he runs two filling stations.
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@Naked_Superman: What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
@UniqueDude2: [reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyoncé TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried.