@BertCarrillo: My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
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@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda] "Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes* These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting
@DraggingFeeties: The hardest part of making new friends is weeding out the people who just want to sell you leggings.
@EvansPosts: this girl was just sitting on the floor at the gym on her phone and she looked up at me and said “my boyfriend can see my location and i promised him i was gonna go to the gym more so now i just sit here and watch netflix” LMAOOOOO