@Swishergirl24: My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
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@bourgeoisalien: very rough morning. my male cat tried to mate with my female cat and bc they aren't married I had to explain why they're both going to hell
@IamEveryDayPpl: My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed.
@truegritrumble: BABY: *cries* ME: Get in line, buddy. PUPPY: *cries* ME: *panicking* OMG, WHAT GREAT TRAGEDY HAS BEFALLEN YOU, MR. NIBBLES?
@juliussharpe: A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include "Swam in water" and "Ate".