@Swishergirl24: My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
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@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@EndhooS: Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]
@Jason_Horton: When the DJ asks if we are ready to party I sometimes lie & say yes even though I really need like 10 min to get ready
@TheTimeIGotHigh: "I was so high that I cried because I realized that snakes are just tails with faces"