@ddsmidt: My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind.
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@simoncholland: 1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.
@Jenny4ashley: "..so that's the story of Christmas. Questions?" Where do turtledoves come from? "Well, when a turtle and a dove really love each other.."
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What sound do dogs make? 3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses? 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs? 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.