@BYGH: My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week.
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@daemonic3: [campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]
@MsCassieDaniels: A cat is the animal equivalent of the girl who hated you for no reason in high school.
@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
@Matt_the_1st: Cop: do you know why I pulled u over? Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there Cop:.... Me:.. Cop: sir, your tailamp is out Me:...