@Nikkeya08: My diet this week consisted of 6 cheat days
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: Which academic course did you find most difficult? Me: spinach Interviewer: you mean Spanish? Me: exactly
@SaveItForFest: You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?
@notalogin: Dog: I'm a man's best friend, he even named one of his teeth after me. Pussycat: Yeah, you're not gonna win this one.