@dril: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl
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@SteveKoehler22: [Mad scientist lamenting] "All that work, trying to create a perfect palindrome ..wasted! DAMMIT I'M MAD !" (Pauses) "Hey...wait
@iwearaonesie: *kidnapper calls to make his demands but my kid keeps interrupting him to ask if he wants to see his fidget spinner*
@pippydrydocking: If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open.