@Monicann86: My Doberman sits on other dogs to assert dominance. I'm going to try this with my co-workers.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I've just been poisoned
@Ooft_Headshot: Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
@AndyAsAdjective: *sips some coffee & interrupts break room conversation* "Technically we're all under the weather today unless you're an astronaut in orbit"