@JermHimselfish: My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood
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@That_Damn_Duck: *Watching YouTube videos* Boss: What are you watching? Me: .... Boss: ... Me: Church? Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle. Me: Praise The Lord!
@UNTRESOR: Health level: my credit card company called me about fraud because I bought a vegetable.
@causticbob: Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom! #HappyBirthdayBob