@JermHimselfish: My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood
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@Token_Geezer: When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers
@david8hughes: I borrowed $500 from a co-worker then paid a homeless guy $8 to kill him in a McDonald's bathroom. I'm up $405 or whatever.
@andizeisler: Guys, I came of age in the 1970s, when people picked up and murdered hitchhikers, so I didn't realize that murdering hitchhikers was wrong
@GoldenSpirals: The last thing I remember was my Mom telling me to "Take Care". I did, and now Liam Neeson is chasing me.