@JermHimselfish: My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood
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@freypalm: Driver: My God… that weasel… Onlooker: He just went… “pop”… Weasel’s family: *sobbing* Ice-cream man: I’ve got an idea for a song y’all.
@druuuck: NASA : we were wrong , there ARE 9 planets in the Solar System PLUTO: I'm back, baby! NASA: because we found a new one! PLUTO: SON OF A
@TeaPartyCat: BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary’s 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos.