@JermHimselfish: My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."
@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.
@Birdhumms: Restless leg syndrome does not give you the right to swiftly kick people whenever you feel like it. I know that now.. 😆