@DurtMcHurtt: My doctor just used a tongue depressor on me so I'm going out for ice cream to cheer the little guy up.
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@Mr_Kapowski: My favorite thing about being a parent is lying to my kid Me: The doctor cuts off our tails when we're born 8 y/o daughter: Wife: ZACK!
@envydatropic: 75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy
@kwirkyKerri: Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)