@envydatropic: My doctor prescribed a med that has "weight loss" as a side effect......I've never wanted to overdose so much in my life!
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@space0tter: Date *pulls out clipboard* "Name?" "Uh.. Beth." "Ok.. Check. Kids?" "No" "Check. Club Penguin username?" "What's that?" *drops clipboard*
@SaveItForFest: You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: If you need motivation to workout this evening, Justin Bieber changed his Instagram name to Bizzle. Now go ahead, get out that aggression.
@Sassafrantz: Why are guys so desperate for oral sex? We swallow over 57 spiders a yr while sleeping.The odds that 1 could come back up should terrify you