@envydatropic: My doctor prescribed a med that has "weight loss" as a side effect......I've never wanted to overdose so much in my life!
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@realHamOnWry: After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US is about to unleash its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date…the American tourist.
@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
@anjadrisch: I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car
@sofarrsogud: Me: Honey, I left work early to pick up the kids! Wife: But we d.. *I arrive into the kitchen with two small goats Meet Frank and Dolores