@envydatropic: My doctor prescribed a med that has "weight loss" as a side effect......I've never wanted to overdose so much in my life!
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@SteveKoehler22: Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist.
@LostCatDog: I hope the next Adam Sandler movie has a wacky grandpa who uses "bae" all the time so you guys will stop thinking its funny
@AimeeHelene1: (telling a ghost story) You know those knocking noises you hear at night? That's adulthood coming for you! *all the adults start screaming*
@cuckoo_cachu: At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*