@ch000ch: my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot
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@1evilidiot: Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight.
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@dafloydsta: WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?