@Dani_Feld: My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, so now I just drink all the time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imasmartass37: I caught someone stalking me so I stalked them right back. It got awkward sitting in the same tree staring at each other.
@mlinhart: Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair.
@angeliav68: The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago..