@Dani_Feld: My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, so now I just drink all the time.
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@KingRainhead: boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!
@FattMernandez: One of my biggest fears is that before I die, spiders will evolve the ability to coordinate their legs and run like horses.
@RidiculousSheri: I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please.