@Aspersioncast: My doctor said I shouldn't hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one.
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@MmeSurly: My favorite thing about famous people is that they can be "brave" and "daring" by just leaving the house in stupid looking clothes.
@zachv86: *speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info.
@ddsmidt: Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says "oh, you want to see crazy?" Reassure her that you do not.
@skickwriter: I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away.