@Dawn_M_: My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats.
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@LosLos__: My Wife's nickname for me is "Microsoft" because I'm good with computers. RIGHT HONEY? Hold on guys, she's not done laughing.
@InternetHippo: ah yes, halloween. the scary day. the day when everything is terrifying. unlike the other normal days of this year
@uncle_fescue: Interviewer: so your last job you worked in IT? Me: no, it says "worked it" I: worked what? [disco ball drops] [rips off pants] Me: "it"