@MAngelo505: My doctor says I should lose 10 lbs and work out more. But why? Spanx launched a men's line.
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@CanadianPitbull: Apparently "mowing the lawn" means two completely different things to my wife and I
@PoliUncorrect: Pharmacist: need any help? Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car
@XplodingUnicorn: [reading Harry Potter] Me: Do you know what's going on? 3-year-old: He went to lizard school. I'd correct her, but her version is better.