@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.
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@davidkenny100: About to hit the ball Boss: you said you'd played before? Me: uh yes Boss: that's a putter Me: Is that wrong? Boss: wrong for squash yes
@4SLars: Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon
@TJ_Whitehead: By my calculations, I've spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table