@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.
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@Underchilde: The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.
@david8hughes: You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.
@spicy_peen: What medications do I take? I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long