@dumbbeezie: My doctor told me that despite my efforts, I'll probably live a long life. I'm taking the news pretty hard
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@ExcuseMyTweets: The Bank of America app randomly disappeared off my phone and now I'm wondering how much money I spent last night.
@SteveSuckington: Will Smith: "Jaden, I want you to star in this 100 million dollar movie with me" My Dad: "Shut up and hold this flashlight Steve"
@GensPlace: I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself..
@Sassafrantz: Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.