@SocialustGal13: My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.
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@LOUD_Thoughts_: People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
@SortaBad: Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car
@man_spach: Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
@jackiembouvier: I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it.