@SocialustGal13: My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TrueTorontoGirl: Cop: Have you been drinking or are you on any drugs? Me: Whoa, one question at a time, dude.
@djdarrellripley: Her: We can't drive the car, it's stuck in the mud... Doesn't it help if you put something under the back tires? Me: Are you volunteering?
@Bob_Heller: Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole.