@Swishergirl24: My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
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@WritePlay: *1st date* "Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* "Hellooo soulmate"
@CatherineLMK: Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what's going on and you just nod
@ojedge: WATER POLO INSTRUCTOR: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" ME: [Adjusting the mask & snorkel on my horse] "Of course I do."
@laurenmacdonald: If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life.