@DaddyJew: My dog asked what it was like to be human, so I told him that talking was a good start.
@neiltyson: What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight
@ojedge: He died doing what he loved; shouting 'boo!' behind horses.
@inmynewskin: Let your girlfriend know how much you love her by screeching loudly like a pterodactyl whenever she talks.
@AsgardianRose: Lord of the Rings: A Shortened Version
-Give me the ring.
@BlindChow: i texted random strangers trying to trick them into finishing my owl joke