@TylerLinkin: My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time.
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@Kyle_Lippert: DATING IN THE 1800s 1) Get telegram from Mae 2) Wait to respond. Don't be desperate 3) Get telegram that Mae died of dysentery while waiting
@RobDenBleyker: Someone please help me with my pope resume, so far all I have is "I look fantastic in large hats."
@StarWarsProblms: Vader: I AM your father. Luke: Why are you telling me this now? Vader: Luke: Vader: I need a kidney.
@tripeface: My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30am! Can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.