@casey_csaszar: My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
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@tarashoe: oh i'd definitely choose flight over invisibility. i'd fly everywhere! to the living room, the bedroom. back to the living room. everywhere
@WheelTod: [Therapy] Me: What do you mean "boundary issues?" Therapist (gently pushing me off his lap): Why don't you put some clothes on & we'll talk?
@VaguelyFunnyDan: My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage