@SCbchbum: My dog crosses her paws regally while lying on the floor, like she didn't just eat the contents of the bathroom trash can.
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@ArfMeasures: DATE: I'm really into *bites lip & lowers voice* S&M ME: Well, I *trails finger sexily across the table* like all of the letters
@KingRainhead: me: i dont want any kids person: *low chuckle* oh, you'll change your mind. me: *grabs them by collar* tell me more about the future, wizard
@briangaar: The cashier at the grocery store just gave me an "I'm cooler than you" look. Dude I will fight you with this baby strapped to me
@TheAlexP: *dog pokes me with nose* *stop, it's late* (Dog looks at me with sad eyes) *ugh, ok* [sets up poker table for him and his friends]