@P1ssed_K1d: My dog eats too much food and throws it up. EVERYDAY. I swear to God if she keeps this up, she's going to look amazing.
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@nonchalantnacho: Dear family, Since I am unemployed, for Christmas you have a choice of a hug or I'll rap Eminem songs for 5 minutes for you. Love, Danielle
@SeanBlazed: Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice.
@mattZillaaaa: Whenever someone tells me "make yourself at home" at their house, I always clog their toilet