@KendalPeifer: my dog hates his nails getting clipped so my dad literally bought a purse & cut holes in it
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@LeBearGirdle: Accidentally mixed up Sudoku and Sepukku again. Long story short it's a good thing I was already in a doctor's waiting room
@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
@mooses_mom_mar: Are you on Twitter? No. But if I ever join I'll send you a friend request. That's how you make people believe you aren't on Twitter.
@gingerfaced: What do you mean you were really drunk? I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.