@velvettusk: My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
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@rachaelkelly18: I love how coffee tricks me into believing I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes
@hazelmotes1: Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in.
@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was