@velvettusk: My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
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@Jenny4ashley: My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like "please untie me" and "just tell me who you are".
@t_cuppp: Starting a Psychofit class. Basically, I sneak up on people showering and chase em with a knife til they achieve their desired body weight.
@JODYHiGHROLLER: i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A