@OhDuarte: My dog is either dreaming or can't quite figure out how to shape shift.
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@kelkulus: While it may be physically possible to have a baby after 40, forty children are probably enough.
@panmidwest: [Walk into a Cat Cafe] Me-I've never eaten cat. What do you recommend? Lady-They're for adopting not eating M-Oh, well can I adopt one? L-No
@natalie2111: Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder "who ties your shoelaces for you?"
@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*