@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
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@SortaBad: Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo
@therealeatwood: [Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can’t because I ate it MACHINE: Place the
@bridger_w: If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing
@MrPudmansButler: If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me.