@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
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@MrMichaelRose: *impulsively buys a private island *frolics on the island for several weeks *gets Mastercard bill in the mail WHAT THE F--oh yeah the island
@ElgatoEsmio: If I had a time machine I’d destroy the invention of autotune and say “good luck being famous now you talentless brats!"
@AnkCoupleTO: [teen me w/GF in my dad's car] Me: You wanna do it? Her: *giggling* Yes Me: *hears voice whisper no glove, no love* GET OUT OF THE CAR MOM