@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Laser_Cat: They say if you love something you should let it go, but I don't think this pastrami sandwich will come back to me, so I'm just eating it.
@weinerdog4life: The date was going great until she spooked me and then I squirted her with ink and quickly swam away
@McAttack88: Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?
@scott_towel: My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons.