@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.
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@Social_Mime: A car says a lot about the owner. I have a KIA which tells people I have bad credit.
@copymama: Telling a mom to relax while her family does everything on Mother’s Day is like telling a pilot to relax while the passengers fly the plane.
@murrman5: [spending entire date hiding the fact I'm really a beaver] "ow" what's wrong? "I got a splinter" may I see? "I guess so" delicious "pardon?"