@kwkorpi: My dog just winked at me, and now I'm wondering just exactly what the two of us are keeping from the rest of the family.
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@GrantTanaka: I swear to god I'm not harassing you, I'm really out of shape that's just my labored breathing
@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.
@TheBoydP: Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic