@kwkorpi: My dog just winked at me, and now I'm wondering just exactly what the two of us are keeping from the rest of the family.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: HOLY SHIT! We've been robbed! Her: Oh No! Are you calling the police? Me: (Sigh) No, I'm calling the burglars to congratulate them..
@zoevsuniverse: 4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."
@philyuck: The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car