@SCbchbum: My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.
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@SeanBlazed: Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice.
@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@dumbbeezie: Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside