@BlaineBruce: My dog plays this fun game where she holds her bladder until she gets inside the house
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@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?
@SkylarTessier8: Insta before videos: hey look at my sushi ! Insta with videos: hey look at my sushi for 15 seconds !
@EndhooS: interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]