@BlaineBruce: My dog plays this fun game where she holds her bladder until she gets inside the house
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@LuvPug: My son- Can I have ice cream? Me- No, it's breakfast Him-The dog just pooped in the living room Me-Clean it up & you can have some ice cream
@abhorrent_wife: I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved.
@DanMentos: "So what do you do?" I'm a wordsmith "A what?" A writer. I deal with words. How about you? "Oh I'm a uh… weedsmith"