@BlaineBruce: My dog plays this fun game where she holds her bladder until she gets inside the house
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@ahamedweinberg: 2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators.
@Tmoney68: I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero.
@NickBossRoss: "Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Actually I think it was when you hit me with your car-" "WE GOT AN ANGEL OVER HERE!"
@Marlebean: For as long as that song was, you'd think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once...