@TeflonPawn: My dog stopped digging after I told him he's just gonna end up in China.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicestHippo: "Your evolutionary biology thesis is rejected." Why? "You added (lmao) every time you mentioned Homo Erectus."
@Tommytoughstuff: [Meeting] *Gestures to pie chart* "Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds."
@Norsebysw: There can be a guy with neck tattoos and a knife in his hand on the bus and I will still be the last person anyone sits next to.