@TeflonPawn: My dog stopped digging after I told him he's just gonna end up in China.
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@TheAlexNevil: Me: Do you have any three tiered wedding cakes? Baker: But of course! When do you need it by? M: No, I'll just eat it here.
@freeDone01: My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry.
@evidentlyblonde: When people ask me "plz" because its shorter than "please".. I just tell them "no" because its shorter than "yes."