@Jarhead44: My dog sure acts tough for an animal whose natural habitat is on the couch under his blankie.
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@fro_vo: Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you
@Dis0beyJay: [at wedding] Is there any reason why these two shouldn't be wed? * me yelling * SHE THINKS WOLVERINE COULD BEAT PREDATOR *pianist vomits*
@sad_tree: *Killer sneaks into my house to murder me but sees me practicing karate w/ my big stuffed dog I won from the carnival and changes his mind*