@Jarhead44: My dog sure acts tough for an animal whose natural habitat is on the couch under his blankie.
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@hereholddeez: SAW 14: HELLO JIMMY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME THE DOOR IS 10FT AWAY THE FLOOR IS COVERED IN LEGOS YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHERE YOUR SHOES ARE
@Shock_Monster: Why do Asian people never seem to age? I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.
@robotmouthfarts: *Takes leash off feral dad* Me: Go on, boy. Get outta here. *Feral dad barbecues on my new shoes* BAD DAD! BAD!