@alexjmann: You should marry the first person who can understand what you're saying while you brush your teeth.

@WilliamAder: I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.

@MoneypennyNaked: So I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back. We haven't spoken since. Maybe he just needs space. Vet: Your cat's fine. You can go now.

@caseytduncan: The mood took a dark turn when I intercepted the wedding bouquet and ran it back for a touchdown.

@3sunzzz: Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!