@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.
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@JONOCOYOTE: [crime scene] •detective flips open pocket watch• Hmmm...precisely what I thought "What's that sir" •closes watch• It's lunch time
@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.