@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
@markleggett: My cat's staring at the wall again. Either she can see ghosts, or she's mulling over past social situations she wishes she'd handled better.
@ComedicBust: Before you say you "value my opinion," just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3.