@DonQuickoats: My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up
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@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen
@GrantTanaka: Look, if you need a heimlich, just ask me nicely, enough of this flapping your arms and making faces shit.
@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.