@DonQuickoats: My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up
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@RobDenBleyker: Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860.
@dorsalstream: It may just be the parasite talking, but I'm going to climb that super tall building over there and release all my spores.
@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today." "Why not?" [fakes a sore throat] "I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."