@NervousJr: my drafts folder is a lot like all of my exes. they totally made sense in my head at the time, but now I cringe when I look at them.
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@dafloydsta: ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first ME: The baby giraffe broke the TV WIFE: We don't have a- ME: Aaaaand now the good news
@juliussharpe: At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.
@squirrel74wkgn: Welcome to my home. There are 43 night lights just in case you'd like to wander the house at 3am.