@NervousJr: my drafts folder is a lot like all of my exes. they totally made sense in my head at the time, but now I cringe when I look at them.
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@bencoffeehall: I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR.
@zgbetty: The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday.
@WilliamAder: When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking "I wonder how long those things live."