@OBiiieeee: My dream girl is basically a pizza in a mini skirt.
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@verycozy: ME: I have crab like reflexes DAD:I think you mean cat like reflexes ME: [sitting in pot of boiling water] what
@hunz74: 16 Y.O. employee: "There's a dirty diaper outside. What do I do with it?" Me: "Is there a live baby in it?" Him: "No." Me: "Throw it away."