@longwall26: "My dream is to create something that both dogs and fraternity brothers will enjoy chasing with equal vigor." -- inventor of the frisbee
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@philyuck: Hi I'm here for my vasectomy. "Would you like that toasted?" What? "Haha whoops sorry, just came from my other job. Ok let's do this."
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@CakeThrottle: My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He's like a tiny Republican senator.