@Maui_Speaks: My drivers side window quit working. So I guess I'm on a diet.
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@AnOrangeSNES: In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly.
@Dis0beyJay: Say what you want about cargo pants but no woman has ever turned down a guy who can carry 7 puppies at once
@Aredubbleyou: I hate being that creepy guy outside your window, but damn girl it's 7:30 already. You're gonna be late for work.
@AnniemuMary: My youngest once got ahold of the scissors and gave herself a haircut. It wasn't bad. So now every 6 weeks we casually leave them out.