@ndiquote: My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has " P " no. of lives.
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@BlaineKy: I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. Because I have no idea where sandwiches live...
@Book_Krazy: Ok, Don't let them know you're an egg "Mr Yolk, you are 20 minutes late for this interview" [drags on cig] I was getting laid by a chick
@House_Feminist: My wish is for all women to love and accept their bodies but also for my body to be objectively the best even tho I'll be v humble about it
@juicymorsel: Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works.