@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
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@iamspacegirl: Ghost me would do the same stuff as alive me. Howl. Wander. Stand in front of the fridge and stare at all the food I'm not allowed to eat.
@joci2203: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over Miss? Me:[takes a quick suck off helium balloon] No officer why? Cop:Lol, nevermind
@jackiembouvier: Put a kid in a lake or a river and they never want to come out. Turn on a shower and it's like you're blasting them with nuclear waste.
@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.