@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KittenWritten: Guard dog? Service dog? Yeah, yeah... When earth is invaded by evil aliens that look like pony tail holders, our cat will be a hero.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher.
@3sunzzz: *carrying dog* Clerk: no pets allowed Me: *closes eyes* It's my seeing eye dog. C: You tried that last week. M: IT'S MY SEEING EYE DOG!
@ValeeGrrl: [House Hunters episode] HUSBAND: I'm a freelance hamster trainer WIFE: And I tune harmonicas part-time HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K